This is a topic that has been on my mind a lot lately although partly on a subconscious level probably. My sister brought my thoughts to the surface recently when she mentioned choosing which parts of a ‘memory’ to remember.

I’m writing this while sitting outside with my kids playing. It’s a practically perfect summer day. The sun is shining and the birds are literally chirping. All I have to do is ‘be’. Isn’t that wonderful? I will take a couple of photos of my adorable children to capture the moment. That is how I am going to choose remember it. 

I say choose because I have another option. I could instead remember how my son was whining because he wanted juice instead of water, how my daughter would not stop trying to eat the grass (she’s 11 months not crazy), how I filled two Jewel-bags full of dog poop, and how I stressed about the chores I was ignoring. Hmmm, I’ll choose memory ‘A’.

The thing is that this happens every day! Good, happy, positive things occur all around us but if you are not paying attention, it will pass you by. At the end of the day, do you lay in bed thinking of all the things that you accomplished, all the happy memories you made, or the things you failed to get done?

We are the architects and creators of our experience. We can frame our mood, behavior, and memories depending on what we focus on. I have been trying to work on my re-framing. For example, I HATE Tuesday nights. My husband plays basketball on Tuesdays so I am home with the kids on my own for hours. I get stressed, I am trying to make dinner, and I usually end up mad at him. If I were to re-frame, I could think about how this keeps him in shape and healthy for our family. I could focus on the fact that he would NEVER get mad at me for leaving to exercise- he’s just too laid back for that. I should pay him the same courtesy.

From now on, I am going to filter my memories and frame my mood toward the positive. Use the old rose colored glasses. Not sweat the small stuff and every other glass half full cliche you can think of. Life is just too damn short to walk around all crabby and stressed out. Starting now!

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