Archive for October, 2012

I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean that. I just get so mad sometimes when I have to do something I don’t want to do. I tell you, the middle class gets screwed! My husband and I both have to work full-time which means we have no time, but we also never have any extra money so I can’t hire anyone to do my chores for me. It’s just not fair! (feet stomping)

Okay, I had to get that off my chest. I know that there are real people with real problems. I know that when your ‘big’ problem is clutter from mail and school projects, that you really don’t have a big problem. Yes, universe, I get the message. Instead of focusing on the tiny insignificant things in my life, I should focus on every single blessing I have. (contented smiling face)

So, back to my project.

Date: 10/29/2012

Weight: 149 (oh screw it!)


  • I organized a food drive at my work and it went really well. I gathered two big boxes of food to bring to the pantry which I will do this week.
  • I gave blood. I really should do this more often, it’s so easy. If you don’t give blood, please consider doing it. There are constantly shortages and the world needs you!
  • I did go thru most of my mail/papers and got rid of the old. The problem is that it never stops. Remember from Seinfeld when Newman spoke of why mailmen go crazy b/c the mail never stops. That is how I feel.


  • This was the first time I didn’t get my 3 workouts in. As the weather gets colder it is going to be harder and harder for me to get this in. I need to recommit and come up with a game plan. You know how you do better with your dinners when you plan a menu for the week? I need to start doing this with workouts (Oh, that could be a whole separate blog post).
  • Fricken Halloween Candy!!!

Plan for the coming week:

  • Re-focus on fitness! I need to start making plans for myself and squeezing in mini-workouts every morning and evening. We might not all have an hour every day, but everyone can find 10 mins in the morning and 15 mins in the evening. I may have to turn into one of those people that does jumping jacks during commercials.
  • I still have to find my good deed. I did 2 last week so I could slack off and skip, but then it’s not a challenge. Open to suggestions. Anyone have a good idea of how I can make the world a better place?
  • I do have a friend doing a coat/clothes drive for some kids in need. Here is the link:!/CaringForKidsClothingDrive If you have any desire to help out some very deserving kids in need, you can check out this non for profit and make a donation.

Thanks for reading as usual. How are all of you doing?

*Coming this week: a post on Having It All and one about America by the Numbers

  • If men had vaginas, birth control would be free through insurance.
  • If men had vaginas, the morning after pill would be offered over the counter at gas stations. “Yeah, I’ll take a slim jim and a Plan B.”
  • If men had vaginas, they would get 2 paid days off a month for menstruation. (Tampons would also be free through insurance)

Blah blah blah. We have heard this all before. “If men had to go thru what we did…..”

My original intention with this blog was to do something funny and lighthearted. Poke a little fun at how clueless men are, and try to make a feminist point along the way. However, as I was brain storming by bullet list, I found myself getting a little pissed off. By the way, the 3 points I made above are true. Or at least that is what I believe to be true. Gloria Steinem has a famous essay from years ago about if men had periods. It is still relevant today. The difference is, Gloria Steinem didn’t just make a joke and get on with her day. She fought for women’s rights tirelessly!

What do we do today? Read a feminist-themed ‘someecard’, ‘pin it’ under ‘things that make me laugh’, and go to bed? Why aren’t we asking ourselves “WHY” it would be different if it were men? The answer is because men wouldn’t let it happen.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I firmly believe that there are a lot of men out there with way too much power that are happy with the current inequality. I know that there are men actively trying to keep us in our place and making it hard for us to see change. I know that there are women out there fighting the good fight. I know it’s not fair. So, please don’t take this to mean that I don’t support women or that we are not capable, but I have to ask—what the hell are we doing? What the hell is the media doing?

  • If men had vaginas, the press wouldn’t go to women asking for their expertise on the male vagina!

When two NY female senate candidates got together to debate the issues, they were asked if they had read 50 Shades of Grey. Are you f’ing kidding me? Two professional women running for senate and you ask them if they have read smutty literature? Have you ever heard them ask Mitt Romney if he has ever watched porn? No, that would be innappropriate. Why the double standard? Remember the nightmare that was Hilary and Palin? I felt so bad for Hilary. Trying desperately to be considered a legitimate candidate. What’s the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom? Puke!

Listen up ladies- we do things every single day that determine our fate and the fate of our daughters. We need to wake up.

  • Who are you voting for? I am not going to get political again. If you read my blog, you probably know where I stand. But, it’s not just presidents. It is ALL politicians that are involved. Bottom line, you need to be voting and you need to be educated about who you are voting for.
  • What do you spend your money on? Do you buy US magazine? Do you support magazines that use air brushing on their models? (I know that doesn’t leave much). Do you watch the kardashians or other shows that make women look bad?
  • Do you support other women or tear them down? Do you buy into this BS idea that women need to compete with eachother or can you appreciate another woman for what she is?
  • What kind of example are you setting for your daughter? Do you play second-fiddle (or 3rd, 4th) at home? Are your needs less important than your husbands? Do you want your daughter to think she is not as deserving as a man?
  • What are you doing to demand equal say/pay/rights in your daily life? If a man at work says, ‘hey sweetheart’ do you roll your eyes and walk away or do you correct him?
  • What types of activities and organizations do you support? Girls that grow up playing sports, or being involved in different activites (debate, dance, etc) are less likely to be assaulted, get pregnant, skip school, and drop out. These girls are more likely to go to college and therefore more likely to be in control of their own future.
  • Don’t have daughters? How are you raising your son to treat women?
  • Are you pissed off? You should be!

It is every possible little detail that matters. 

With all that said, jokes are fun. This ecard is my absolute favorite that I have EVER seen. However, just sharing it on facebook doesn’t cut it. Women suffer silently worried about what a man and his delicate sensibilities may think. If men had vaginas, they would announce their cramps to the world, have their secretary get them a hot pack, and take the rest of the day….

I Believe


  1. I believe that every American is entitled to the same rights; that no person, based on skin color, sex, sexual orientation, or religion is better than anyone else.
  2. I believe that women are just as capable as men- no more, no less- and are entitled to the same salary and job opportunities as men.
  3. I believe that companies make better decisions when the decision makers are diverse.
  4. I believe that if you are doing well, you should want to help others who aren’t. I believe that you should not sit comfortably on your wealth knowing that others are suffering.
  5. I believe that a CEO should be rewarded for his/her hard work and education. I do NOT believe he/she should earn 380x what the average worker earns.
  6. I believe that insurance companies should be not-for-profit. I believe that no insurance company should make money by denying someone treatment. Ever.
  7. I believe that every $1 you spend on prevention saves $3 on treatment. (Not to mention saves lives)
  8. I believe that you have the right to be catholic, christian, jewish, mormon, muslim, atheist, etc.
  9. I also believe that you should never impose your religious beliefs on others. Do not tell others that they should follow the rules of your religion.
  10. I believe that a woman’s body is hers and hers alone to do with what she believes is best.
  11. I believe that there is no such thing as legitimate rape, and I believe that asking any woman to submit to an unnecessary, invasive medical test is ludicrous.
  12. I believe that the best way to avoid abortion is through contraception, education, preventing violence against women, and promoting healthy lifestyles and behaviors in young women.
  13. I believe in the separation of church and state and that no politician should let their religion dictate policy. Period.
  14. I believe that running a country is nothing like running a business. To run a country, you have to make bad ‘business’ decisions every day for the betterment of the citizens and the world they live in.
  15. I believe that global warming is real and that it is bad. I believe that special interest groups are putting out information that they know is false to sway the easily swayed.
  16. I believe that we should focus less on gas prices and more on getting-off-gas! If we started truly investing in alternative fuel and energy 20 years ago, this would be a non-issue. They make cars that run with little to no gas. They are cheaper to run and are better for the environment. Why do we still make the other kind?
  17. I believe that Americans have the right to bear arms. I also believe that when this was written, the world and the guns within it were very different. I don’t believe you have the right to bear automatic weapons, AK 47s, etc. (I don’t know the names of guns). There is no legitimate, non-violent reason to need that type of weapon.
  18. I believe that corporations are corporations.
  19. I believe the 1%-ers should pay their share. Just because they can afford the best lawyers and accountants to find every loop-hole, deduction, and off-shore account, doesn’t mean we should let them.
  20. I believe that birth control should be covered by every single insurance company no matter who the employer. There are legitimate health issues where birth control is prescribed that have nothing to do with preventing pro-creation. I also believe that it is a slap in the face to every single woman in the country that Viagra is covered and birth control is not. Also, see #7, #9, #10, #12, and #13.
  21. I believe that you should be able to marry who ever the hell you want. You are a human being and therefore should have the same rights as me- another human being.
  22. I believe that everyone has a right to health insurance they can afford, that you should not be denied for a pre-existing condition, and that we are all in this together. I believe that the more people who have health insurance with preventative care, the better our health care system will be overall. I believe this is the best and only option for our country. What is the alternative?
  23. I believe that living in a society requires sacrifice. What happened to the attitude of ‘Ask not what your country can do for you….” It is not always going to be easy for everyone. Give and take.
  24. I believe in the idea of ‘invest and grow’. We need to put money into job training, alternative energy, roads/bridges, etc. This costs money in the short-term but grows the economy in the long-term.
  25. I believe that no person is truly a self-made man. There is always a teacher, mentor, parent, or opportunity that helped you along the way. Read Outliers.
  26. I believe that it is incredibly unfair to spend 8 years creating a big giant mess, committing from day 1 that you will do what it takes to make sure this president fails (ignoring what is best for the country), and then criticizing him for not fixing it fast enough.

This is what I believe, and this is why I am voting for Barack Obama.

If you are just joining us, this is the 2nd week (3rd post) on a 30 day life improvement challenge. Here is the original post . Okay, this week did not go as planned. I have a couple of successes, but did not acheive my goals. I had a little extra stress this week. Normally I am a pretty low stress person, but this week I couldn’t help it. Here’s the breakdown:

Date: October 23rd

Weight: 149 (+1 from last week, -1 total)


  • The big success was the 5K I did on Saturday. My goal was to do it in under 32 min. I did it in 31.24. That is just over a 10 min/mile pace. I am very proud of that. I started running this summer. Before that I was NOT a runner. When I first started, it sucked, it was hard, and I was slow. Just 4-5 months later of running 1-2 times a week and I acheived my goal. Next year I want to do the same race in under 30 min.
  • Today I had only 20 mins to exercise so I decided to do 1 mile as fast as I could and for the first time I ran a 9 min. mile outside in my neighborhood. It felt like I was sprinting! I seriously do not see how people run faster than that!
  • I gave some good friends a little shout out with my last blog:  It was fun to write and hopefully the people I mentioned felt the love. If you missed it, check it out. I have some pretty amazing friends.


  • Hot Apple Cider and Bacardi, Big sandwich, Halloween candy, donuts, chinese food, Pumpkin Spice Lattes, etc. I never eat as much as I did last week, let alone after committing to the world that I would watch my diet. Total fail! Back on track, starting now! That is why I am drinking a stupid glass of water right now instead of a beer.
  • Using the 5K as an excuse to do all of this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^. Who am I kidding, it was 3.1 miles. Not a marathon. It doesn’t give me a free pass.
  • I did NOT organize my mail. I still have chaos in the form of paper all over my house. But, my room is still clean!

Next Week:

  • I am organzing a food drive with my work and friends (and who ever else wants to help…..readers?….). The food bank in my community is low on supplies and I want to help.
  • I am giving blood on Thursday! I should do this more often, but I do it at least 2x/year. If you don’t give blood- start!
  • I WILL organize my mail! I will, I will…..
  • No more crazy diet break downs.
  • Be my own #1 advocate. No more waiting around and hoping things will go my way. Start believing that I have control over my life and outcomes.

How are all of you doing? Some of you mentioned that you would join me in your own goals. What are your successes/challenges?


(By the way, check back this week. I am currently developing my first and only political blog for this election season. I am sure none of you are sick of politics yet *sarcastic font*. It will be good though- at least I hope it will.)

This is my version of giving back this week for my 30 Day Challenge.  As a blogger, I am always trying to find ways to get people to read my posts and to get new readers. I have some good friends that have shared my work for me. I thought I would pay it forward and recommend some people that I think are very talented. These are all kinds of different people with different talents and businesses. Please take a minute to read this and see if you are in need of any of these services. Many of them are in the chicago land area, but not all, so even if you’re not local- check it out. Thanks!

Project Chinelas: My friend from high school Archie Reyes started his own non-for-profit that provides sandals to underserved populations in the Philippines. These shoes are not just something to wear. To these people their shoes are a form of transportation, health care (disease prevention) and a vehicle for education. Every $1 = 1 pair of shoes. There is no excuse not to donate. $5 can provide shoes for 5 people! Please go to this site!

Aesthetician extraordinaire: My friend Megan is wonderful and beautiful and friendly. She works at Mario Tricoci in Libertyville. Her work name is EMME and she can handle all of your waxing and facial needs. She is really THAT good (even though she makes fun of me for being wimpy). (847)202-1900 and ask for Emme (said ‘M’)

Klutter King: My friend Justin started a business that will come into your home (or where ever you keep your clutter), he will help you organize and get rid of whatever you don’t want or need (haul or sell, etc.). It’s a really good idea and we all have too much junk.

Alden’s Piano Company: My friend Nate’s family has a business that handles all things –Piano. Tuning, Moving, Renting, etc. The are the best!

Kate Bogot: We got our pictures taken by this talented woman 2 years ago and are over-due to get them done again. She is amazing, just check out her website. She is talented and original and I think everyone should use her.

Jay cakes: There is a lady named Jackie who makes ridiculously good cupcakes called jaycakes. She has all kinds of different flavors. Check out the site and try not to drool on your computer.

Party Lite: Most of you are probably familiar with partylite. They have the best candles and house decorations in the world. My neighbor is a sweet wonderful woman who sells this stuff. The beer bread and pumpkin bread alone are worth going to her site.


I think that is everyone for now. I may do this again in the future, so if I forgot you sorry- I’ll remember next time.



So I have week one done and under my belt. It was a great week! I had some challenges for sure, but still really excited about my journey. If you did not read the original challenge, check that out first and come back. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

Full Disclosure: I am drinking a beer while I write this. I know, I am weak.

Date: 10/16/12

Weight: 148 (that’s right, down 2 pounds)


It was interesting going through the week. I was very task oriented, “I need to this, and I need to not do that…” I lost site a little about the purpose of this which is to be the best me I can be. I want to be the version of myself that I like the most. Somethings that I do get me closer to this (exercise, eating right) other things do NOT make me happy (not drinking for example). So for the next week I am going to focus more on my purpose in this process.

There is something about having a goal that can really change your brain. It gives you a sense of urgency, it holds you accountable, and it makes it easier on you. For example, I really didn’t feel like exercising one day and I said to myself, “Well, I have to. I said I would so I’m stuck. I have to.” Simple as that. So if you are reading this and you don’t have a goal, you need to make one/some. And it can’t just be ‘get in shape’. That goal sucks! You need to set a goal and then develop action steps along the way. It might look like:

Goal: Lose 15 pounds!

  • Start keeping food journal
  • Cut out soda (diet and regular)
  • Get a personal trainer for 1 month

You get the point. You have to have a plan.


Well, I would consider losing 2 pounds a success! We’ll see how accurate that weight is after I weigh in again next week. I know weight can fluctuate from day to day (especially with women).

I got in my 3 work outs. One of them was running 3.5 miles on Saturday. That is my longest run yet! I was very proud of it. I also ran a sled hill tonight. I ran a lap (approx. 1/4 mile) then did the hill up and down twice, repeat 3 more X. It sucked, but I kind of liked it too.

We had our most successful shoe drive at my work to date! I found 8 pairs of shoes laying around our house to donate.

I did mostly good with my diet. I didn’t have any soda, and tried to eat well. I did make Beer Bread which I think breaks 2 rules (carbs and alcohol together- what is this? Christmas?)

And I cleaned my f-ing room! I felt like a little kid who couldn’t go out and play until they cleaned their room. Thankfully my husband helped so it took half the time.



I haven’t seen the top of this dresser in a long time!





I finished one of my books (Gone Girl- pretty good) and started a new one. I actually picked up a book about blogging! I will plow through that one.


I drank. We celebrated a big deal on Friday night for my husband and I had a couple cocktails. BUT- I only had two because I knew I had my big run the next day. And, obviously I am having a beer right now. I just told my neighbor tonight that I guess I don’t want to be skinny that bad! I think for me it will just need to be drinking like a responsible adult. Enough to unwind after a long week with my husband and enjoy our evening, but not enough to limit me the next day.

What’s to come?

I signed up for a 5K for this Saturday. My goal is to do it in under 32 min. Let me make this clear though- that is a goal! That will be difficult for me to do- so don’t hold your breath.

For giving back, I decided I am going to do a little promoting for some friends. More to come on this via blogging this week. Stay tuned!


Thanks to all of you have sent happy thoughts my way. I feel more like me already. Anybody feel like beginning their own journey to self improvement? Who’s coming with me????

Hump/Marry/Punch: NFL QBs

Okay, I know I changed the game a little. If you’re not familiar, you are supposed to get the names of 3 people and of that group you are supposed to decide who you would f*ck, marry, or kill. I wanted to try to keep this PG-13 so I changed F to hump and I don’t like even joking about killing people so I changed it to punch. I think punching someone in the face (or throat) would be way more satisfying anyway. Here is how I would rank our NFL QB’s.

Hump: Tom Brady- ‘No surprises here’ said every woman in America. I know, not very original, but what can I say? He is by far the most attractive out of the QBs. I just want to bite his manly square jaw. And then I could say that Gisele is my eskimo brother!

Marry: Peyton Manning- PM might be my soul mate (except for my wonderful husband who I love so much!). No one quite makes me laugh like Peyton does. If we were married we would make jokes about tapenade and tease little bro Eli, ‘two rings and still in our shadow, J/K Eli, we love you’. And we would create super NFL QB babies. I am athletic, come from a family with height, and have freakishly big hands! Something to think about Peyton….

Punch: Philip Rivers- This one might actually be a surprise for some of you. But if you’ve ever paid attention to Rivers during a game (or any other time) you know that he looks like a huge dick. He is always on the side lines pouting and yelling and making stupid faces. He is just asking to get punched. He is a huge doucher.

Hump: Aaron Rodgers- I would totally discount double hump Rodgers. He is a sexy little thing. Although I would rather hump the Rodgers from the 2011-2012 season.

Marry: Drew Brees- I think Brees would be a good provider. Pretty much everyone in the world likes him, he is definitely going to the hall of fame, and I would like to live in New Orleans.

Punch X3:

  • Michael Vick- no explanation needed
  • Ben Rothlisberger- again, no explanation needed.
  • Tim Tebow- So annoying! Keep it to yourself Tebow. Puke. And, it’s the NFL, you are going to have to be able to throw a football.

None of the above:

  • Jay Cutler- I just need Cutler to focus on winning games right now and I don’t want to distract him with my siren song. He should also focus on surviving the season without being killed by some defensive lineman.
  • Joe Flacco- He looks like a muppet and my husband is a Ravens fan, so I’ll leave him alone.
  • All first and second year QBs- I don’t have anything to say to you until year 4. If you are still good- we’ll talk.

I think that about sums it up. Sorry if you didn’t make the list, there is always next year. And, a special side note to Miles Austin…. You are not a QB, but I think we both know where you would be on my list. (Winky Face)


It is Tuesday October 9th. I know that seems like a weird day for starting a month of improvement, but I’ve always thought the idea of ‘the diet starting Monday’ was dumb. When you decide you want to make a change, why wait? So, here I am on a random Tuesday making a commitment to the world. Ha, world. Yeah right. More like a commitment to the 75 people that may read this post.

Lately I have felt like a ‘light’ version of myself. And, let me tell you, I do not mean ‘light’ as in ‘skinny’. I mean like I am not living my full life to all it’s potential. I am here to break the cycle!

The point of all this is to try and do 30 days of the ‘best me’ that I can be. I will lay out my goals and ideas below. But first I want to lay down the ground rules/details. The end of my 30 days will be on Thursday November 8th. At that point I can go back to my old ways of procrastination, binge drinking, and stuffing my face with bread! I also committ to full-disclosure. I cannot promise I will perfect during this time- that is just crazy. But I can promise to be honest.

Full-Disclosure– I am eating a fun-size Snicker candy bar as I am writing this. 🙂

Here are my improvements for myself:

1. Diet: My diet has been a night-mare lately. Football season and a little extra stress has really taken a toll on my eating. I am getting back on the wagon (or is it off the wagon, I can never remember).

  • One soda per week- tops!
  • Big time decrease in carbs. I don’t support a no-carb diet, but I support everyone eating less of them than I do.
  • No bingeing on Sundays during football. Now this doesn’t mean I will not eat wings or spinach dip, it just means I’ll eat a helluva-lot less.
  • Stop eating when full. This will need to be something I remind myself of every night at dinner. I love to cook and I love to eat what I cook. I need to somehow convince myself that I will be satisfied with the dinner even if I don’t make myself sick by eating too much.

2. No drinking: Yes, you heard me correctly. No drinking. This will be very hard for me! Now normally I don’t think there is a problem with drinking a glass of wine every night, or having a couple drinks on the weeked. The reason I decided to do this is…

  • I am trying to lose weight and booze is full of empty calories
  • I am more likely to eat junk when I am drinking (i.e. the cheese puffs that disappeared on Saturday night; and again back to football Sundays)
  • I am less likely to work out if I drink. Hangovers really put a damper on my work out plans

3. Exercise: I will work out 3X per week! I had a little anxiety while I typed that. This will be very hard for me; I am pretty good at getting in 2 but 3 will be tough. I don’t have a gym membership, I have a full-time job, I have 2 kids, and it is getting cold outside. These are not excuses, these I hope will help prove the point that anyone can find time to workout. Or, I’ll crash and burn and give every woman in America the excuse they are looking for.

  • I want to try to run a 5k in the next 30 days, but haven’t figured out the logistics. Also, I really hate being cold.

4. Organization: I did not want to say something vague here like, “I will become more organized” because that literally means jack shit. I wanted to make it a measurable, actionable goal. So, I decided that I will organize 1 thing per week. Here is my schedule:

  • Week 1- Bedroom (My room is so crazy right now, I would literally not let my mother in there)
  • Week 2- Mail/papers/newspaper/coupon clutter. This is kind of spread out every where and will suck!

Full-disclosure: I started typing ‘furnace room’ which is our catch-all room, it’s like a big closet but it sounded way too hard and I don’t want to do it so I deleted it. Don’t judge, baby steps.

  • Week 3-Junk drawers (puke!)
  • Week 4- Kids rooms

5. Reading: I don’t know why I always fall of the horse when it comes to reading. I LOVE to read and I usually have a couple books waiting on my Kindle for me. I guess I get lazy and it’s easier to fall asleep to a re-run of Big Bang Theory than to pick up a book and use my brain. In the next 30 days I will finish the 2 books I am currently reading, and finish 1 more. I haven’t picked it yet but it will be a non-fiction based on my rotation system (I do Novel- Personal/Professional Development- Nonfiction).

6. Giving Back: This is really important to me and it makes me feel so good when I do it, but I lose track of it all the time. I want to really try to make a difference in other peoples lives over the next month. I don’t know what I am going to do yet for follow up weeks, but this week I am going to go through all of our shoes and pick some to donate. My work is doing a shoe drive right now and I want to get involved. I figure a household with 4 people should be able to easily donate 6 pairs of shoes.

Wom, I’m getting tired just thinking about that list! My goal is to post weekly on this topic. It will be like the format below.

Date: October 9th

Weight: 150 (I said full-disclosure, I still can’t believe I am sharing that but that’s how you make a change)

Thoughts/Opinions: I am half pumped to get moving and get improving, and I am half terrified I am going to fail miserably. I am half excited to share this with those of you who read this blog regularly and I am half worried that this topic will bore you.

Successes/Challenges: The challenges at this point are obvious. The success right now is that I am willing to address my weaknesses and that I am brave enough to share them with all of you. Yikes.

Marathon Limerick






There once was a girl from Nantucket


She meant to do 26 but said ‘fuck it’


It got way too hard

She can’t run ‘cross the yard


Make fun and she’ll tell you to ‘suck it!’




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“Follow” me on twitter


We Need to Do Better

I was sitting here tonight, after I put the kids to bed thinking that I should write ‘something’. The problem was, I had no idea what to write about. No funny observations, no angry rants, no words of inspiration came to mind. So, I found myself half watching Bones and half dicking around on the inter-web. Then, I watched a story about a news anchor from Wisconsin and it was just the inspiration I needed to start writing.

A news anchor from Lacrosse Wisconsin received an email regarding her weight, how she was a bad role model for her community- especially young girls, and that obesity is a big problem and she should do something about her appearance. I’m obviously paraphrasing, but you get the point. This email was not coming from a good place. This email was coming from a place of hate. The writer of the email is a bully. And, apparently October is National Bullying Prevention Month.

We live in a world right now that seems to have a lot of hate. We hate fat people, we hate the other political party, we hate gay people, we hate people with other religions, and we hate ______________ (enter different culture/skin color/race here). I want to spend a couple minutes addressing a couple issues I am having with this bullying and hateful behavior.

First of all, we need to get over this idea that we (as an individual) are better than or more deserving of rights as someone else.

  • Example: I deserve to get married and you don’t because I am straight and you are gay.
  • Example: I am going to heaven and you are going to hell because I am a christian and you are jewish (or gay, or muslim, etc.).
  • Example: I am better than you because I maintain a healthy weight and you struggle with yours.

All of those statements are false! Each one of those examples could be their own individual blog post and I will get to that eventually. Today though I want to talk about bullying.

If you have young children at home, you need to really think about what kind of example you are setting. If you make fun of the ‘fat person on TV’, your child will very likely go to school and make fun of an over weight class mate or teacher. If you spend time ‘preaching’ to your child that being gay is a sin, they are very likely to bully the kid that everyone thinks might be gay at school. And the worst part is, the bully won’t even know it’s wrong because you are telling them it’s a sin to be gay. They could even believe that they are doing god’s work. Show me where in the bible it says that ‘Jesus, knowing he was right, ridiculed those that were different than him.’ I’m pretty sure you won’t find it.

And, I do not want to hear the argument that it’s not hate. I recently heard someone talk about ‘not hating gay people, but believing that they should not be allowed to get married’. In my mind that is saying, “I am better than they are because of my faith and therefore they do not deserve the same rights as me.” That, my friends, sounds pretty hateful. Real quick, let’s swap out the word ‘gay’ for ‘black’: “I don’t hate black people, I just don’t believe they should be able to get married.” Doesn’t that sound so much worse?! What’s the difference? The second statement isn’t using their religion to justify their hate. I will repeat that, the second statement isn’t using religion to justify their hate.

Just like Jesus always wanted: I don’t always hate others, but when I do, I do it in the name of Jesus.

Now, I am not going on a anti-Jesus rant here. As my friend Nate said this weekend, “he was a real cool cat” (no, he’s not from the 50’s). Whether or not Jesus was a god, he got it right. We f-ed it up along the way somewhere.

If you don’t like that example, how about ‘I don’t hate women, I just don’t feel like they deserve as much money for the same amount of work’.

So my main point here is that it doesn’t matter what kind of hate it is, there is too much of it floating around right now and our children are listening. We need to teach them that every person has worth, that they are special in your mind but that they are no better than anyone else, that every human being deserves equal rights. I truly believe that we are at a cross roads here and this bullying/hate/racism/sexism is being down played big time. Listen up because I am only going to say this once: people are dying, kids are killing themselves, kids are abusing each other every day. These same kids are not born with hate, nor do they know the real consequences of their actions. As parents- that is our job! And, right now, we kind of suck at it.