Like most women I know, I have a jacked up body image. It makes me mad because I should know better. Like I have said before, I am not that weird shaped! I wonder why I am not more enlightened. Should I blame the media? Should I blame the fashion magazines or hollywood? Sure, they’re jerks, but they just put out what we buy. If we stopped buying into that crap, they would have to adjust. Honestly, I am the only one to blame. I am smart, I am mature, and I am surrounded by people that love me for the whole me regardless of my weight or waist. So, what’s my deal?!

To give you a little background, I don’t always feel bad about myself. In fact, I am bi-polar. I either think I am Sophia Vergara or the Stay-puft marshmallow man (Seriously, ghostbusters 1 and 2 were some of the best comedies ever! Under-rated, but I digress). There are days when I look into the mirror and I’m all like, “Damn girl, you look good!” There are other days when I want to drape my self in velvet-if it were socially acceptable- or some other kind of loose, warm, comfy fabric that I can disappear into. (If you got that velvet reference, give yourself a high five for being awesome.) Overall, though I would say I have a high level of confidence. I usually walk into a room like I own it.

bi-polar body image

With that said, why do I let myself talk down to myself? Why do I torture my poor husband by brushing off his compliments? You know how we do that ladies, “Oh, I love that dress on you.” and then we reply, “Just think of how good it would look if I lost 10 pounds!” That’s really annoying. I know it’s annoying and I still do it.

I think we all have a ‘story’ about ourselves that we have made up. Something that sticks with you for years. Maybe you used to be 30 pounds over weight, and now you still think of yourself as ‘that chubby girl’. My ‘story’ is that I am the big girl out of all my friends. Every single one of my friends is smaller than me and always has been. I’ve never been truly big, but always biggest. I have tiny little girl friends and a tiny little sister; they’re the worst! 🙂 So, my ‘story’ is that people look at me and think I am the big one. This is probably (hopefully) crazy. I doubt people care enough to even notice something like that. But, the point is, I am technically a healthy weight. My BMI is within the normal range. I clean up good. Why do I care so much? Why does my logical brain who knows I should be proud of my appearance disappear and let my stupid emotional brain insult me? My logical brain shouldn’t stand for that! And that is exactly what I am going to try to do from now on.

All compliments will be accepted with grace. From now on, when I get a compliment, I am going to say “thank you”. Simple as that, no qualifiers. “Hey that’s a nice shirt” will not be followed with “Oh, this thing? It’s super cheap; got it at Target.” It will now be followed with “thank you”.

I will not insult myself. I will no longer judge myself in a negative way. I will not allow ME to hurt ME out loud or in my head.

I will no longer compare myself to others. This is tough, but I will not compare myself to friends or strangers or celebrities or manequins. It’s funny how we only see the areas where we lose in comparisons.

I will no longer put thoughts into strangers heads. In other words, I will not make up stories about the way the world sees me. I am no longer the ‘big girl’ in my mind.

Ladies, let’s let go of our baggage and just enjoy our bodies for what they can do. This doesn’t mean we don’t try to improve by eating right and exercising, but it does mean no more obsessing. No more worrying about what others think. No more looking in the mirror and seeing anything but your true reflection. No more holding on to old stories or issues that are haunting us. Go give yourself a compliment. Be proud of yourself.

I’ll start right now: My butt has been looking really good lately since I started working out again!

Use the comments section to compliment yourself. Come on, you deserve it. It feels good.

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