Archive for April, 2013

Smart(ass) Cars

road rageWith the technology that exists today, I’m surprised there aren’t more options for ‘smart cars’. Considering all the yahoos out on the roads, I would like to suggest the smart(ass) car. You know, a car that will tell you when you are driving like a jackass. It would be just like a sarcastic GPS. Here are some phrases that would come standard:

1. “I know you saw that merge sign…speeding up and cutting over at the last minute does not make you clever, it makes you an asshole!”

2. “You are unneccessarily close to that car in front of you…why don’t you ease up a little, nobody likes that guy.”

3. “Okay Dale Jr…..beating that soccer mom off the line was not impressive or necessary.”

4. “Holy hell! It smells like you dunked your head in whiskey. Get out! Taxis are cheaper than DUI’s!”

5. “Nice moves slick! 6 lane changes and you’re still next to the same 3 cars. Idiot.”

6. “Sir, you can ignore that email on your phone. You’re not nearly as important as you think you are.”

7. “If you change lanes one more time without using your turn signal, so help me god, I will turn myself around!”

8. “Okay ma’am, time to parallel park….better turn down the radio, you suck at this!”

I think this would make the roads a little more pleasant. I’ll even provide my voice to the cause.

taco 2taco 1Tonight’s post is just a quickie. I have struggled lately to find time for blogging. It is amazing how busy your life can become in the blink of an eye. Our new way of eating is definitely more time consuming and I am still learning the short cuts. So, this post is just the recipe for tonight’s dinner. Sometimes a quickie is just as good, right?

I call them Paleo(ish) Tacos because I use cheese. I love cheese. I have seen conflicting information on what kind of cheese is okay and what is not. It doesn’t seem to bother my stomach at all so I eat it and enjoy the crap out of it.

I take butter lettuce, top it with my homemade guac, rotissierie chicken, goat cheese, and cilantro. I roll it all up like a taco/burrito and then down the hatch. So easy! So delicious! So healthy!

Here is the homemade quac recipe. I am not much of a measurer, so this is all approx. Adjust as you see fit.

Halved baby heirloom tomatoes (whatever tomato you like!)
Red onion
Salt, Pepper, garlic powder
Red pepper flakes
Lemon juice

The big lesson here is every ingredient is a REAL food. Nothing processed (except the spices, but I pick good ones without all the crap in them)

The kids are a little pickier and I am trying not to ruin their childhood so they were served: quesadillas made with corn tortillas, shredded mexican cheese, chicken, and spinach. Cooked on the stove with coconut oil.

My husband was busy ‘working late’ so he just ate his. He came down stairs, not realize I am typing this right now and honestly just said, “Wow, those were crazy good!” Nothing makes me happier than that!

Any paleo or wheat-free recipes you want to share?

I’m turning into a crazy person. I see it happening, I recognize the signs, I know that people are going to get sick of me, and yet I can’t help it. I can’t stop talking about food! I am reading another book about food and it is re-enforcing everything I have been saying. The book is called, “Salt, Sugar, Fat: how the food giants hooked us” by Michael Moss. I definitely recommend it! I’m only about 15% of the way thru it but I can see where it is going.

Basically, what I have been trying to get across to everyone is that processed food is bad. (I know, I’m like the first person to say this!) Well, at least 98% of it is bad for us. The problem is people know donuts are bad and oreos are bad and fritos are bad, but we give a pass to other foods. It doesn’t matter if it says “heart healthy” or a “good source of fiber”, etc. It’s bad! When is the last time you looked at the ingredient list on that ‘healthy whole grain’ bread you buy? Go ahead….I’ll wait. The bread has literally been engineered to have the exact amount of sugar to stimulate your appetite and the precise amount of salt and fat to give it the right ‘mouth feel’. This ain’t your grandma’s bread. Her bread used to go bad after 2 days. Her bread didn’t have high fructose corn syrup as the second ingredient. I know I pick on bread an awful lot. Are there worse things in the world than whole wheat bread? Of course! But, whole wheat bread disguises itself as a health food. (don’t even get me started on soy!)

But let’s back up a little. There was a need: The American people were getting busier and the food companies had the solution. We wanted fast, convenient food that tasted great. Food companies had the solution. They are a business. Businesses need to make money. The more we ate and the cheaper they made the food, the bigger the profit. Simple right? So, they use the cheapest ingredients that they can: chemicals, salt, sugar, and fat.

So, the American public started eating a LOT of this food. “Real food is too expensive and it takes too long”. Well not only do these foods not meet our nutritional needs but they change our relationship with food all together. Now we expect sweet, salty, and perfect texture- often from the same product. We actually crave more food and eat more calories as a result.

Okay, so now we are all fat and someone has to do something about this! God forbid we stop eating the crap, so we put pressure on the food companies. To appease the public they come out with low-fat cookies, and 9-grain bread, and lower sodium soups, etc. This takes super chemists because they also need the food to taste good. So more chemicals. On top of that, no one is getting enough fiber and vitamins. Simple, everyone needs a multi-vitamin and Fiber One Brownies! They are now meeting our new needs that their foods created!


All the blame does not fall with ‘big food’. We keep buying the crap. Sure, is there a little evil empire thing going on, but we cannot be surprised that they care more about profit than the health or your kid. Every single day we vote with our dollars. You can buy Fiber One Brownies (that’s the picture shown) or you can have one of the other things with 5 gr. of fiber. Like: 1/2 cup of berries, 1/2 cup of broccoli, 1/2 cup brussel’s sprouts, 1 large apple, 1/2 cup kale or spinach, or 1/2 an avocado. You’ll be pooping like a pro in no-time!

Here are some things that you and/or your kids might eat that are not as healthy as you may think: wheat bread (all bread), granola bars, low-fat cookies, go-gurt, lunchables, Subway, Panera, margarine, cheerios, raisin bran, low-fat cheese, oatmeal, whole grain bagels, diet soda (all soda), etc. I could go on and on. Read labels. And not just fat and calories! Ingredients!

I will help anyone that wants it. I can tell you what to buy or how to cook or what to throw in the trash. All you have to do is ask. I promise you will be healthier, and happier, with less digestive problems, and lose weight. No gimicks. Just eating real food. Who else has changed their lives by making the switch?

announcementThis is a little mini-rant about why we are all crazy and about what you do NOT need to worry about eating! I have heard so many crazy things lately I feel like I am going to lose my mind. This will just take a minute…

This is for all of you chronic dieters that have cut out all of the fat and calories for years, the ones who measure your food, and are still struggling with your weight. This is for the ‘weight watcherers’ and the ‘jenny craigers’ etc. who did not lose weight (save the angry comments, I said for the ones who did NOT lose weight. I know it works for some).

No one gets obese on 2% milk! I know you switched to skim because it has fewer calories. I get it. But, no one has ever said, “man, if I could just get off the milk, I could lose these 50 extra pounds!”

No one gets unhealthy from egg yolks! Yes, I know, the bulk of the calories from eggs (and cholesterol) is in the yolk. I also know that eggs are a dieter’s best friend. If your breakfast is eggs and veggies, and you eat ‘real food’ for the rest of the day, you will not get fat or get high cholesterol.

No one gets fat from avocado or guacamole! We get fat from tortilla chips and beans and cheese and flour tortillas and margaritas- not from the delicious, nutricious, fiber-full avocado. How much avocado can you really eat when you aren’t eating all this other junk?!

No one gets chubby from yogurt! Oh, you need to switch to the fat free, sugar free yogurt? That is not what made you fat. Eating fake foods loaded with fake sugars and extra sodium and artificial flavors is a way bigger problem than a little full-fat yogurt. Look at the labels, yogurt should have fewer than 5 ingredients and none of them should be a color.

I heard some one say the other day, “But don’t almonds have a lot of fat?!” Yes, good healthy fat that our bodies (especially our hearts) NEED to function! You know what our bodies don’t need: diet soda, chips, low-fat energy bars, high protein breakfast cereal (you want more protein at breakfast? stop eating ‘lab’* carbs and start eating protein!!!!), diet bread (what does that even mean), double fiber bread (want more fiber? eat vegetables!), and the 6 Jack and cokes you have every saturday, etc. I think you get my point.

Filling your diet with ‘diet foods’ creates a life where you are:
1. Never actually satisfied
2. Always hungry
3. Constantly fighting cravings because your body is confused
4. Binge followed closely by regret and self-loathing
5. Yo-yo weight man

We need to stop focusing on ‘diets’ and focus on health. What is real? What is going to nourish?

News flash: Being healthy/thin/fit is not convenient. It will never be convenient. It takes more time to shop, more time to cook, more time to eat, more time to exercise, and more time to plan. You can’t have both quick and healthy. Now, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get easier. It certainly does. Once you establish a routine, it becomes like everything else in your life. And, the results are so immediate too that you will realize it quickly. It is such a typical american way of thinking that we can find an easy way to get healthy that won’t ‘interfere’ with our lives. Good luck America, it’s not working.

And….rant is over.

*I am going to start using the term ‘lab’ carbs to describe processed junk carbs. I am not anti-carbs! Fruits are full of healthy delicious fiber-full carbs our bodies need. I am anti anything that had to go thru 25 steps from farm to table; I am anti flourescent-orange cheese-flavored wheat-products that are ‘low-fat’.