road rageWith the technology that exists today, I’m surprised there aren’t more options for ‘smart cars’. Considering all the yahoos out on the roads, I would like to suggest the smart(ass) car. You know, a car that will tell you when you are driving like a jackass. It would be just like a sarcastic GPS. Here are some phrases that would come standard:

1. “I know you saw that merge sign…speeding up and cutting over at the last minute does not make you clever, it makes you an asshole!”

2. “You are unneccessarily close to that car in front of you…why don’t you ease up a little, nobody likes that guy.”

3. “Okay Dale Jr…..beating that soccer mom off the line was not impressive or necessary.”

4. “Holy hell! It smells like you dunked your head in whiskey. Get out! Taxis are cheaper than DUI’s!”

5. “Nice moves slick! 6 lane changes and you’re still next to the same 3 cars. Idiot.”

6. “Sir, you can ignore that email on your phone. You’re not nearly as important as you think you are.”

7. “If you change lanes one more time without using your turn signal, so help me god, I will turn myself around!”

8. “Okay ma’am, time to parallel park….better turn down the radio, you suck at this!”

I think this would make the roads a little more pleasant. I’ll even provide my voice to the cause.