militarySo, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to say about Memorial Day and was coming up short. I also have been trying to focus and honor my feelings lately. I noticed that when I thought about Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day, or just soldiers in general- I get a sick feeling in my tummy. It is an uncomfortable and almost queasy feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. Because the feeling is unpleasant, I don’t want to stay ‘in that space’. I want to move on and think of something else. Well, that kind of thinking will not lead to growth, so I stayed….

What I realized is that feeling is sadness, fear, and guilt all piled on top of eachother and wrestling in my tummy.

Sadness because I cannot imagine the loneliness and isolation of a lot of the families. I cannot imagine missing the birth of a child or the countless milestones that happen while you are away. I cannot imagine being the spouse at home, trying to hold it all together. I can’t imagine sacrificing years of your life for the greater good. I cannot imagine coming back to find that everyone else just kept living their life while you were gone.

Fear because I cannot imagine how I afraid I would be if I were in their shoes. Whether I were the soldier in the middle of hell, or the spouse at home, fear would run my life. I cannot help picturing what I would be like as a military wife. I think I would be crippled by my fear of losing my husband every damn day. It makes me cry right now just imagining that scenario.

And lastly guilt. Guilt because I didn’t do. Guilt because I wouldn’t do it. Guilt because I have the freedom to say that I wouldn’t do it. And, probably most importantly, guilt because I don’t do enough now. I don’t do enough to reach out and support our military. I don’t do enough to thank our military. I don’t spend enough time in this uncomfortable space honoring our military.

Here are 4 websites that you can check out:

http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org
http://www.militaryfamily.org
http://www.soldiersbestfriend.org
http://www.supportourtroops.org

Please use the comments section to provide other links that people can check out. Also, please share what you personally do to support our military and their families. Thanks!