This is kind of a Nora Ephron themed blog. The late-great writer wrote a book called ‘I feel bad about my neck’. Well, I’m 30 so I feel okay about my neck, but I do have other issues.

1. I feel bad about my boobs: When did I become someone who buys bras at Kohl’s? You know those commercials with the 18 hour bras? That has some how become my life. Cute push up bras with lace? Yeah….those are adorable as I stand perfectly still in front of a mirror in the dressing room. Bend forward 30 degrees and I’m no longer IN the bra. It’s depressing. I walk around kind of wanting to punch high school girls in the face.

2. I feel bad about my stomach: Most of you moms out there can feel my pain here (those of you that can’t- can suck it). But, after you have a baby, your stomach just isn’t the same. Yes, I could work out like a maniac and eat perfect, but I would still have extra skin and stretch marks. My first kid was almost 10 pounds! The funny thing is though- I don’t ‘want a flat tummy more than anything!’ I really like beer. I really like bread. I really hate ab work. I’ll stick to wearing high-waisted jeans and wanting to punch high school girls in the face.

3. I feel bad about my maintenance: What I mean by this is the amount of maintenance it takes to look good. What happened to the days where I could wake up, brush my teeth, throw my hair in a pony-tail and look adorable? I’ll tell you- they’re long gone. Now I need to actually ‘do’ my hair, plan my outfits, rip hair out of my face, wear make-up, etc etc etc. It takes a lot of effort to look effortlessly chic!

4. I feel bad about my clothes: Shopping sucks. I am too old for Forever 21 and too young for Coldwater Creek. (By the way, if you are over 30, you are also too old for Forever 21.) I have to split my wardrobe between ‘work clothes’, ‘going out clothes’, ‘regular weekend casual clothes’. Who has enough money to dress all of their identities? I know who, f-ing high school girls! They only have one identity and that’s- skinny bitch. Remember when your parents bought all of your clothes? Remember when you were so skinny that you could go in any store and everything looked good on you? Remember when your biggest problem was whether or not your dad would let you wear that out?

Okay, obviously I have some issues with HS girls. I still remember a conversation that I had with my sister a couple years ago.

Brooke: I hate high school girls!

Me: Where did that come from?

Brooke: Why do HS girls get to be skinny? They’re SOOO stupid.

At a glance, this might sound mean. But, dig a little deeper and there is actually something we can learn from this. When you are in HS your body is probably the best it is going to get (if not HS, college and early 20’s). However, so many of us wished we were thinner, taller, had bigger boobs. If you were jealous of my boobs, I was probably jealous of your stomach. We didn’t appreciate it then, but we sure miss it now.

What does this say about how we will feel 20 years from now?

I might feel bad about my boobs now, but when I look back when I’m 50, I bet I’ll have a different perspective. Somehow, we need to find away to look in the mirror and concentrate on the good. Maybe we should make it a goal: every day spend 1 min. looking in the mirror and naming things we like about our selves. Now this doesn’t mean to ignore things that are unhealthy. But, if we can respect and appreciate what we have, it may change our whole outlook on our self-worth and confidence. And, that may be the jump start you need for a better life.

I don’t know. Either that or start punching high school girls (in the face).

Advertisements