Tag Archive: confidence


I have done a few posts like this previously: my relationship with hats, my relationship with lipstick… Today is my Relationship with Selfies! And, per usual, it’s complicated!
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Like most people, when the youngsters (you know you’re getting older when you use the word youngster) started taking and posting selfies, I thought it was stupid. I would roll my eyes and make judgments. But, my thoughts on the subject are evolving right along with me and my journey.
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My epiphany and motivation to write this blog came from my friend and business partner’s latest blog about HER journey. You should read it.

There is a lot of self doubt out there for women, mothers, people that are in the business I am in, and -I guess- just human beings in general. We are always worried about what people are going to think about us. What will they say?!? I used to never wear lip stick because I thought other people might think it looks stupid. Well that’s stupid! My lipstick only effects me and the people I am kissing. If you don’t like it, that is an issue for you to work out. Same with my career choice. I am doing something, that for some reason, makes people uncomfortable. Same for me when I first made the leap. But now I’m locked in, sure of my choice, and comfortable wearing it around town.
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What does this have to do with selfies?!?

Well, before if I took a selfie, I felt like I had to justify it in some way. Or, apologize for it. I worried that other people would be mocking me or rolling their eyes behind the safety of whatever screen they were seeing me on. But I’m evolving.
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I take selfies for lots of different reasons. Sometimes it’s because I’m trying to show what I am up to or what I’m using and loving. Sometimes it’s because I want to be in a picture with my kid. I will NOT be the mom who looks back at pictures from the past and is missing from the memories! I will be there front and center with my family. Sometimes it’s because I think I look nice. Moms especially know how hard it is to make yourself look nice when you have so much on your plate every GD day.

But most of the time, it’s because I’m happy. I’m happy that my body feels happy and healthy. The happier my body feels, the more it shows in my face and on the outside. I am happy with where I am at in my life journey and I feel like it is shining out of pores! When you work really hard to get comfortable and happy and hopeful and peaceful, you want to show it and share it. I lived a life of self doubt and worry and insecurity (still do sometimes); I don’t want to anymore. I want you to come with me too. We waste so much time worrying and not enough time taking care of ourselves and taking chances and taking naps and taking hikes and taking selfies!

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Btw- I DID feel pretty stupid taking all these pictures in the parking lot at Starbucks before I came in to write this! Wonder if anyone saw me??? Guess how much I care though?

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IMG_1835Okay ladies, let’s talk. Just a quick little chat. I think it’s time to cool it with the posing in the pictures. Not every pic on your smart phone needs to be a red-carpet moment. You know what I mean: hand on hip, arms away from the body for slimming, chin down, sexy eyes, shot from above, etc. This pose is the new duck face in my opinion. Is it more flattering? Yes! Is it slimming? Yes! Do you need to pose like that for the picture with your 2 year old? No. Do you need to be ‘hot’ in a picture with your kids (or grandma or fish tank)? There is a time and a place for posing: date night, girls night out, weddings, etc. First day of school at the bus stop? Please god no.

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My favorite pictures of me have always been spontaneous. I love pictures where I am laughing- mouth wide open- and looking away. I love pictures where I might not being wearing makeup but I am having fun with my kids. I love pics that are great memories, even if I don’t look skinny. You know why? Because there is not a secret Hot Mom contest. And, if there was, I am sure I would not win. If there was, I would not participate. If there was, shame on anyone who would judge it. I take pride in my appearance, and I take care of my health, but not so I can be photogenic for strangers on the internet. Because I like to feel confident. Because I like when my body can do what I ask of it (like sub for a volley ball game or run a couple miles or dance the night away).

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I am not perfect. I am guilty of the ‘let me see it’ as soon as the flash fades. I am guilty of ‘put a filter on that so I look younger’. I am guilty of the ‘do it again, I don’t like my face’. But, I am going to work on that. I would really hate for my daughter to look at a picture I took of her perfect little self and say that she doesn’t like her face. That is about the saddest thing I can think of. Let’s just go back to having fun and capturing moments. That’s what pictures are for.

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