Tag Archive: selfies


I have done a few posts like this previously: my relationship with hats, my relationship with lipstick… Today is my Relationship with Selfies! And, per usual, it’s complicated!
image

Like most people, when the youngsters (you know you’re getting older when you use the word youngster) started taking and posting selfies, I thought it was stupid. I would roll my eyes and make judgments. But, my thoughts on the subject are evolving right along with me and my journey.
image

My epiphany and motivation to write this blog came from my friend and business partner’s latest blog about HER journey. You should read it.

There is a lot of self doubt out there for women, mothers, people that are in the business I am in, and -I guess- just human beings in general. We are always worried about what people are going to think about us. What will they say?!? I used to never wear lip stick because I thought other people might think it looks stupid. Well that’s stupid! My lipstick only effects me and the people I am kissing. If you don’t like it, that is an issue for you to work out. Same with my career choice. I am doing something, that for some reason, makes people uncomfortable. Same for me when I first made the leap. But now I’m locked in, sure of my choice, and comfortable wearing it around town.
image

What does this have to do with selfies?!?

Well, before if I took a selfie, I felt like I had to justify it in some way. Or, apologize for it. I worried that other people would be mocking me or rolling their eyes behind the safety of whatever screen they were seeing me on. But I’m evolving.
image

I take selfies for lots of different reasons. Sometimes it’s because I’m trying to show what I am up to or what I’m using and loving. Sometimes it’s because I want to be in a picture with my kid. I will NOT be the mom who looks back at pictures from the past and is missing from the memories! I will be there front and center with my family. Sometimes it’s because I think I look nice. Moms especially know how hard it is to make yourself look nice when you have so much on your plate every GD day.

But most of the time, it’s because I’m happy. I’m happy that my body feels happy and healthy. The happier my body feels, the more it shows in my face and on the outside. I am happy with where I am at in my life journey and I feel like it is shining out of pores! When you work really hard to get comfortable and happy and hopeful and peaceful, you want to show it and share it. I lived a life of self doubt and worry and insecurity (still do sometimes); I don’t want to anymore. I want you to come with me too. We waste so much time worrying and not enough time taking care of ourselves and taking chances and taking naps and taking hikes and taking selfies!

image

Btw- I DID feel pretty stupid taking all these pictures in the parking lot at Starbucks before I came in to write this! Wonder if anyone saw me??? Guess how much I care though?

Listen up b*tches

photo (13)Okay, I got your attention. I don’t really think you’re all b*tches…. But, I am about at my selfishness, non-sense, unaware of the world around you, entitled attitude limit for the year. I think I might lose my mind. This is like a diary entry I am sharing with the world because these thoughts have been consuming candysbrain for a long time now.

Have you noticed how the world seems to be spiraling out of control? The planet is dying, the people on the planet are starving or killing themselves or eachother, no one seems to give a shit about any of it, and we just keep buying the latest crap. One of the most hilarious headlines I’ve seen recently (I believe it was The Onion) was talking about some new cell phone that came in different designs/colors, etc. and they joked about ‘which color best represents my desperate need for attention?’. Nailed it.

“This sparkly pink cover will really pop in my next selfie!”

The point of this post is simply to say that we should focus a little less on ourselves and a little more on the rest of the world. A little less instagraming our dinner and a little more feeding the hungry. A little less talking and a little more listening and learning and reading. A little less sharing of opinions and a little more sharing of resources. Living in a society takes sacrifices; it always has. Sometimes you have a little more and so you give a little more. But it’s not about what you give or how much you give, it’s that you have the awareness to know that there are people out there besides yourself that could use a break. You know that you are not fundamentally better than they are. You know that some day you might need a hand and hope that someone will be there for you. You know that you are not kind to others because it gets you into heaven, but because it makes you feel good in your heart and soul to help another human being (or animal for that matter).

There is so much misdirected anger at the strangest things. People are angry because they have to press ONE button for English. One GD button! Talk about first world problems. People are angry at poor people. People are angry because a tiny portion of their income goes to making sure poor kids get at least 1 meal a day and the most basic health care.

This matters. Anger and hate and violence are contagious and I fear it is spreading through our world. Anger turns to hate which turns to violence and the tiniest little thing matters. But, the good news is- so is love and giving and sharing and compassion. The best way to ‘fight’ the hate in the world is to love more and bigger than ever before.

When is the last time you truly did something for someone else? Not your family. Not for your kids. But for a stranger, or a neighbor, or a charity? This is not asked to shame you. This is asked to hopefully inspire you. This is asked to be a wake-up call for those that need it.

I have been thinking about my own selfishness lately. Once you learn to recognize the behavior it is very easy to notice it, even when others don’t. I think we are all a little selfish and I don’t think that is necessarily a bad thing. I just know how lucky I am and have always been. I have never really had to ‘want’ for anything that I needed. So, how do I remain a happy modern women who appreciates nice things, and yet consistently think of others and help those that need help. I think it’s about finding the balance between giving so much you lose your identity and it’s to your own detriment vs. thinking only of yourself and being a detriment to society.

I feel like I need to do something big. Start a revolution or something. I don’t know what that looks like and who knows if anything I say will ever make a difference, but I want to try. Stay tuned because it’s coming.

In the meantime, I am curious…. What do you do to give back to your community? How do you teach this next ‘entitled’ generation what is really important? What types of conversations do you have with your kids so they know what kind of need is really out there? My daughter is too young, but my son is five. I want to start now so that he accepts this giving/caring/sacrificing as a part of his life. Any/all comments welcome.