Love. Yo. Self

This conversation happened recently with my 4 year old daughter:
E: Mom, who in this room do you love?
M: I love you, Will, and me (husband wasn’t home I promise)
E: You love you? That’s weird!
M: Why is that weird? Do you love yourself?
E: Yeah, it’s just weird…
And then she moved on to wondering why I gave her the red cup because she wanted the yellow cup and when are we going to Nana’s again. 4 YO attention span, amiright?

But, it is a little weird. It is something that isn’t talked about very often because it makes us uncomfortable. It is especially hard for women. Loving yourself ‘out loud’ makes women worry “am I coming across as conceited?”, “is this intimidating for others?”, “do all women hate me now?”, etc. And then there are the mommy martyrs out there acting like if you’re not miserable, exhausted, and depressed, you’re not trying hard enough.

IS it weird to love yourself though? I would argue that it is weird NOT to love yourself. You are the only you that has ever been on Earth, and you are the only you you get to be! What a travesty it would be if you spent your one lifetime not loving the only you you are! That was a little hard to follow but I think you get my point…

This doesn’t mean that every second of every day you love every single thing about yourself. You can love yourself and wish that you were a little stronger. You can love yourself and not love a part of your past. You can love yourself and be disappointed with the way you behaved that day. Really, loving yourself is like loving another person.

How do you treat the people that you love? With respect, kindness, forgiveness, understanding, etc. Do you treat yourself the same? Would you tell your sister ‘you look ugly today’? I certainly hope not. Would you tell your husband he was failing as a parent because he yelled at the kids too much that day? Not likely. So why would you say that to yourself?

Let’s do an experiment! Say the 2 sentences below out loud and notice the way they make you feel when you say them.

1. Of course I give my kids their vitamins! I love them and would do anything to keep them healthy!

2. Of course I take my vitamins! I love myself and I would do anything to keep myself healthy!

Or…

1. My kids are in soccer and baseball all summer long. It’s hard to find the time, but their health and fitness is my number 1 priority!

2. I make it to the gym and yoga 4x a week. It’s hard to find the time, but my health and fitness is my number 1 priority!

Gets a little squirmy feeling doesn’t it? It really shouldn’t though. Should you love and cherish your children for the enormous blessing they are? Of course! Does your life change and do you make sacrifices for them daily? Duh! But does your life cease to exist? No! Do you become less of a priority? You shouldn’t. Think about it this way… Does your first born become less important when your second child comes? No. There is just more love! All of the sudden your heart just starts pumping more out. That’s the amazing thing about love- we never run out. We just keep making more.

So trust me, there is enough for you. You might need to practice a little bit. It comes more naturally to some vs. others. But it’s there. Take yourself out on a date, buy yourself a drink, and treat yo self real nice…

My Relationship with Selfies

I have done a few posts like this previously: my relationship with hats, my relationship with lipstick… Today is my Relationship with Selfies! And, per usual, it’s complicated!

Like most people, when the youngsters (you know you’re getting older when you use the word youngster) started taking and posting selfies, I thought it was stupid. I would roll my eyes and make judgments. But, my thoughts on the subject are evolving right along with me and my journey.

My epiphany and motivation to write this blog came from my friend and business partner’s latest blog about HER journey. You should read it.

There is a lot of self doubt out there for women, mothers, people that are in the business I am in, and -I guess- just human beings in general. We are always worried about what people are going to think about us. What will they say?!? I used to never wear lip stick because I thought other people might think it looks stupid. Well that’s stupid! My lipstick only effects me and the people I am kissing. If you don’t like it, that is an issue for you to work out. Same with my career choice. I am doing something, that for some reason, makes people uncomfortable. Same for me when I first made the leap. But now I’m locked in, sure of my choice, and comfortable wearing it around town.

What does this have to do with selfies?!?

Well, before if I took a selfie, I felt like I had to justify it in some way. Or, apologize for it. I worried that other people would be mocking me or rolling their eyes behind the safety of whatever screen they were seeing me on. But I’m evolving.

I take selfies for lots of different reasons. Sometimes it’s because I’m trying to show what I am up to or what I’m using and loving. Sometimes it’s because I want to be in a picture with my kid. I will NOT be the mom who looks back at pictures from the past and is missing from the memories! I will be there front and center with my family. Sometimes it’s because I think I look nice. Moms especially know how hard it is to make yourself look nice when you have so much on your plate every GD day.

But most of the time, it’s because I’m happy. I’m happy that my body feels happy and healthy. The happier my body feels, the more it shows in my face and on the outside. I am happy with where I am at in my life journey and I feel like it is shining out of pores! When you work really hard to get comfortable and happy and hopeful and peaceful, you want to show it and share it. I lived a life of self doubt and worry and insecurity (still do sometimes); I don’t want to anymore. I want you to come with me too. We waste so much time worrying and not enough time taking care of ourselves and taking chances and taking naps and taking hikes and taking selfies!

Btw- I DID feel pretty stupid taking all these pictures in the parking lot at Starbucks before I came in to write this! Wonder if anyone saw me??? Guess how much I care though?

My Relationship with Lip Stick (and why that’s important)

A year or so ago, I wrote a blog about my relationship with hats. I joked about how I love them but feel dumb sometimes and am not usually confident when out in public in a hat. Well, the other day I saw that a friend of mine sent me an image via pinterest. It was this image:

Who knows how long that sat there. I am to Pinterest like most people are to New Year’s Resolutions: super fanatical for about 4 days and then completely forget about it. Anyways, I see this image and it was like a lightning bolt. If I could put myself in a nutshell, this image would be my nutshell. These are the things I am passionate about. I am serious about my vegetables, squats are what keep your ass from eternal saddness, there is nothing I hate more than boys that are mean to girls, and I LOVE to rock some frickin’ lip stick! But this was not always the case…

You know how when people say things like “man, I wish I could be 24 again” or “I would love to go back to college days”? I disagree with those people. I am so much healthier and happier now than I was in my 20’s. Back then, the only vegetables I got were the shreds of lettuce on my Jimmy John’s sandwiches. I never worked out (dancing on bars count?). I let a few boys treat me badly, and treated some badly myself. And, the only lip game I had was Chapstick medicated.

You see, I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know what I wanted. Half the time I was trying to make others happy, the other half I was trying to make myself happy in dumb ways. I didn’t know how to be me. I was always afraid of ‘looking stupid’. I didn’t take fashion risks, because I felt dumb (what a waste of that 19 year old body!). I didn’t want to wear lip stick because what if I picked the wrong color or what if someone thought I was just trying to get attention or what if people thought I was trying to look ‘cool’ but it back fired and…. Crazy right? Welcome to the brain of an insecure college chick.

The best part about my 30’s is that I figured out a lot about myself. I figured out that I care about my health and well being. I figured out that I am a feminist and I don’t like to hang out with those that aren’t. I figured out that lip stick is fun and sexy and that I don’t care if others think differently. I figured out that I like to challenge my body and rediscovered my love of sports and physical activity. I figured out that I love to have fun and be loud and be myself and if people judge me for that- it’s none of my business.

When I recently started my new business, I had a lot of hang ups. I worried about whether I would be bothering people. Or that people would think this business is stupid. Or that no one would ever buy anything from me. Or that people would un-friend me because they would get sick of my posts. Welcome to the mind of secure 30-something that still lets that insecure 20-something girl pop up now and then. But, you know what, I’m all good. The business is good. Vegetables are good. The men in my life are good. And my lip stick game is on-point.

I don’t know when I realized the most important thing in the universe which is: love yourself, nothing else matters. Everything will work out. Everything is going to be okay. It might not be exactly how you pictured, but that’s okay. We live in a universe of abundance and there is more than enough good for all. Trust your gut and follow your heart. Okay, that is more than 1 thing, but you get my point.

I have a birthday this week and I am not even the slightest bit concerned. If this is what ageing is like, I am all-in.

Want to work with me? Want to join me in the fight against giving a shit what everyone else thinks for once in your life? E-mail me at creimholz@gmail.com. We have fun.

Let’s Cool it with the Posing

Okay ladies, let’s talk. Just a quick little chat. I think it’s time to cool it with the posing in the pictures. Not every pic on your smart phone needs to be a red-carpet moment. You know what I mean: hand on hip, arms away from the body for slimming, chin down, sexy eyes, shot from above, etc. This pose is the new duck face in my opinion. Is it more flattering? Yes! Is it slimming? Yes! Do you need to pose like that for the picture with your 2 year old? No. Do you need to be ‘hot’ in a picture with your kids (or grandma or fish tank)? There is a time and a place for posing: date night, girls night out, weddings, etc. First day of school at the bus stop? Please god no.

My favorite pictures of me have always been spontaneous. I love pictures where I am laughing- mouth wide open- and looking away. I love pictures where I might not being wearing makeup but I am having fun with my kids. I love pics that are great memories, even if I don’t look skinny. You know why? Because there is not a secret Hot Mom contest. And, if there was, I am sure I would not win. If there was, I would not participate. If there was, shame on anyone who would judge it. I take pride in my appearance, and I take care of my health, but not so I can be photogenic for strangers on the internet. Because I like to feel confident. Because I like when my body can do what I ask of it (like sub for a volley ball game or run a couple miles or dance the night away).

I am not perfect. I am guilty of the ‘let me see it’ as soon as the flash fades. I am guilty of ‘put a filter on that so I look younger’. I am guilty of the ‘do it again, I don’t like my face’. But, I am going to work on that. I would really hate for my daughter to look at a picture I took of her perfect little self and say that she doesn’t like her face. That is about the saddest thing I can think of. Let’s just go back to having fun and capturing moments. That’s what pictures are for.

Me, this year

This is like part my new year’s resolutions, part a diary entry, part a declaration of what I want in life. There is something magical about a new beginning and reassessing where you are and where you want to be. But, be careful, don’t linger in the past. It is exactly that, past. You can’t change it so don’t dwell on it. Reflect, but do it with the utmost love and forgiveness for yourself.

FEAR: I am done with fear. I am tired of worrying about what people think of me. I am tired of being scared to follow my gut. I am tired of following the unwritten rules because I am afraid to live by my own set. Look out world, I’m coming for you.

FITNESS: I am going to get to the point that I can do anything physical without thinking twice. Tennis? Sure! Go for a hike? Of course! 5K tomorrow? Yep! Anything that comes along I will be capable of doing.

WEIGHT: I seriously don’t care about how much I weigh any more. Am I comfortable in what I wear? If yes, than I am good. I love my body. Why should I worry about whether other people do?

BRAIN: I am going to feed my brain daily. I am going to cherish and protect it like the magical creation that it is. I am going to read books that overwhelm me, that inspire me, that teach me, that challenge me, that fill me up.

SLEEP: I am going to make sleep my bitch!

LOVE: I am going to be fair with my love. I am going to love more and ‘mad’ less. I will try to praise before I criticize. I will end fights at that moment when you realize that you are actually just frustrated about something else.

KIDS: I am just going to keep loving them with all of my capabilities. I will not worry that they don’t have something, or that they can’t be in everything, or that they were ‘bored’ yesterday. I will not compare myself to other moms. All they need is my love and my time.

BUSY: I am going to keep on saying NO. I simply don’t like being busy. I am not going to feel guilty about that anymore.

HAPPY: I am going to make this the hap hap happiest year since Bing Crosby danced with Danny f’ing Kay… But, seriously, life is amazing and I have so much to be grateful for. I love my life and I am going to focus on my special brand of happy.

CHEERS!

Oh What a Night!

This weekend was a whirlwind! As many of you know, back in May I partnered with Shaklee to start my own business. When I first signed up, I had no idea what I was doing or whether or not it had any potential, but I knew that I had very little to lose and that I could trust the brand. At that point, the best my limiting brain could do was say, ‘maybe I’ll make enough to pay my gym membership’. Since then I have been doing a lot of learning. Learning about the products, learning about direct selling, learning about business, and learning about professional development. Fast forward just a few months and now I have set my sights a lot higher than a gym membership!

This weekend was the Shaklee regional conference in Chicago. This was my first Shaklee conference and I had no idea what to expect. I knew that it would be exciting, and I knew that some big-wigs were going to be there, but I expected to sit anonymously in the back of the room taking notes. Boy was I wrong! A few days before the conference, one of the people from Shaklee corporate called me asked if I would share my story at the conference. They heard thru the grapevine that I had a funny story about how I didn’t believe in the vitamins when I signed up and gave them away to a friend. I immediately peed my pants (figuratively) but said ‘of course!’ (literally). I honestly didn’t know what I was committing to. I thought a hundred people… Maybe two… Turns out it was like 700 people! I am glad I didn’t know that ahead of time. But, I did it! I did it without throwing up, tripping on stage, without tears or trauma of any kind. I actually said what I meant to say, and it came out the way I wanted it to.

I got to meet the CEO of Shaklee (who was awesome by the way) and tons of other very successful people in this business. There is something to be said for surrounding yourself with successful people and just absorbing their positive energy. I got to sit and listen to people who have been doing this business for longer than I have been alive. People who have been using these products for decades! I have never been in a room full of older people with that much energy. I didn’t know it was even possible! I mean that with as much respect possible. If I didn’t believe in these products before the conference, I do now. I saw them in action. These people don’t age!

I got to hear the science behind what Shaklee is all about. I am a science gal. I like the nitty gritty details. I like to hear about ‘why’ this stuff works. I like to hear about ‘why’ our products our different. I like to hear about ‘why’ someone thought to extract this tiny little substance from a chardonay grape seed using only water and how that helps improve circulation to your brain! It’s fascinating.

But, perhaps more importantly, I got to hear about how other people have found success. I got to hear stories of people who made it work in really tough circumstances. And, not just in direct selling or in Shaklee. But succeeding in life, in sales, in business, in any venture. I got to hear over and over the importance of knowing what you want in life and fighting like a maniac to get it. I got to hear about believing in yourself and what you are capable of. I got to hear about how we are all destined for success and happiness and awesomeness; we just need to get out of our own way.

Freedom is my ultimate goal. It has always been my dream. That is what I am working for. And I am well on my way.

Are you like me?
My New Venture

Men vs. Women

The other day, as I am getting ready for work, I looked down at the shit-show that is my bathroom sink. I mean, every surface covered! Makeup, bobby pins, hair-styling waxy stuff, face lotion, you name it. And this is coming from someone with no hair that wears little makeup! As I am noticing all my ‘stuff’, my husband walks in and swipe swipe- deodorant, brush brush- clean teeth, kiss kiss- off to work. Jerk. So, I decided it was time to write down my thoughts on the ridiculous double standards our society has for men and women.

Makeup:

Men- Good job on that face! Don’t change a thing…seriously!

Women- You better fix that shit or no one will ever love you. We’re gonna need you to spend about $1,000 a year on ‘product’. Men like you to be pretty and soft.

Clothes:

Men- Pants? Check! Shirt? Check! Brown shoes? Check! Black shoes? Check!

Women- Follow trends, but not too closely. Dress pretty, but not too flashy. Show some skin, but don’t be a tramp. Oh, and get some shoes that push you up on the balls of your feet and walk around like that all day. Men love that.

Reproduction:

Men- Yay sex!

Women- Periods, cramps, pregnancy, stretch marks, delivery, breast feeding, and default parent for the rest of your life.

Parenting:

Men- Where’s mom?

Women- Mom, mommy, mom, mommy, mama, mama, MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hair:

Men- Having hair in places where your hair grows is not only awesome, it’s manly! Don’t change a thing.

Women- Even though that is where your hair literally grows out of your body, you’re gonna need to fix that shit. Preferably by ripping it out by the roots with hot wax. Wait wait… you’re not done -turn around and bend over this table.

Sounds about right. Did I miss anything??

If you enjoyed this you might also like:

Are you like me?
Mommy Monster

Mommy Monster

I wake up in the morning
With my normal mommy-ness
You turn me into something else
When I see the giant mess

I plan to be a good girl
With no yelling and no drama
But you wear me down and help create
This crazy-eyed mean-mama

Why must you fight about
The color of your glass
It’s the exact same milk inside
You’re acting like an ass

My hair is falling out now
What’s left is turning gray
Because you whine non-stop
All the live-long day

It doesn’t change my love
Not one tiny little bit
But if you would just listen
Mommy wouldn’t lose her shit

I dream of peace and quiet
But when my dream is done
I wake up to complaining
Mommy-monster I’ve become

So I wave the white flag
I know I’ll never win
I’ll give into the mess
Can you clean with gin?

I’m being hyperbolic
It’s really not that bad
But all your crappy habits
I blame them on your dad

You fill my heart with love
And though you’re why mom jiggles
I love you little bastards
And your contagious little giggles

XOXO- Mommy

Why Diets Fail

Well, it’s February 13th which means you just realized your New Year’s diet failed. It’s okay, blame it on the 87 feet of snow we got or Obama. It’s not your fault. Everyone fails at diets. We’ve all said, “That’s it! This is the year I lose this weight!” And, then 2 weeks later (if you’re lucky) you fall off the wagon and roll around in pizza naked while doing a beer bong. (Just me???) Next thing you know, there’s money missing off the dresser and your daughter’s knocked up. I’ve seen it a hundred times…

Diets themselves are doomed for failure and I’m going to tell you why.

1. Diets are a temporary sacrifice to get us to an imaginary ‘Happy Place’. Diets should never be temporary. In fact, let’s take back the word ‘diet’. It should simply mean- what we eat. I don’t like how it has come to imply weight loss. What makes us think that a few months of cutting back to lose weight is going to work? Even if you do lose the weight, you return to normal eating habits and go back to where you started. This leads to years of dieting, yo-yo weight, and multiple cats. IT WILL NOT WORK.

2. Diets imply deprivation. You immediately start to think of hunger, sacrifice, boring foods, and sobriety. Blarg. It sounds depressing. You say things like, “it’s going to be hard but worth it” and “whenever I’m hungry I’ll just picture myself in a bikini and suck it up”. That’s inspiring!

3. Diets rarely factor in long term health. We are all just trying to look good naked, right? Most diets are about calorie restriction and ‘diet foods’ without factoring in yourself years from now. Will eating Lean Cuisines help you lose weight? Probably. Are those sodium and chemical filled foods good for your long term health? Nope.

4. Diets set you up for the binge. As I alluded to before, 2 weeks into a restricted diet, you will likely give in to the cravings. This is because your brain wants nutrients. You were already probably not giving your body what it needed, but now your brain is starving. And your brain, very much like Ivan Drago, will break you.

5. Diets have no END. There is no magic destination. There is no ‘once I get HERE, I’ll be happy’. If you are not happy with yourself +15 pounds, you will not be happy -15 pounds. No one has ever gotten into their skinny jeans and been like, “Great, I made it. Now I’ll just be satisfied right here and maintain this forever and eat rainbows and poop butterflies.”

So what is the alternative? F-it? No, the answer is no more diets.

This does not mean you don’t try to eat better and exercise more. It simply means you aren’t going hungry for weight loss. It means you no longer buy diet foods. If you have weight to lose, eat whole/real foods 95% of the time, and move your ass occasionally, you will lose weight. Your body will stabilize; find it’s sweet-spot if you will. After that, you can certainly transform your shape thru weight lifting and training, but you will stay around that weight. Warning, there is a good chance your ‘normal’ weight is different than Gwenyth Paltrow. But, it will be healthy. You know like a little curvy, healthy body fat percentage, pooping and ovulating… healthy.

Instead of focusing on what you can’t eat, focus on what you can. Trust me, those crappy bagels in the break room at work are not worth it. Don’t be sad that you can’t eat those. Be happy about the delicious options you do have and how good you feel after you eat. We all know how you feel after eating fast food or other crap. Everything you eat is either making you more healthy and feeling good, or less healthy and feeling bad.

Instead of thinking 2 months from now, think 10, 20, 30 years from now. What kind of old person do you want to be? Overweight, 55, and going for your first knee replacement? Or, do you want to be the fun grandma that’s chasing her grandkids around and having sex with your husband? Do you want to be the 60 year old man with the big ol’ belly and the sleep apnea machine? Or do you want to be that old guy that’s doing yard work without his shirt on and all the women in the neighborhood are like ‘he’s kind of hot for 60’? Think Hellen Miren and Liam Neison. That’s your new goal.

Quit thinking ‘if I just lost 10 pounds…’. Goals are important, but make them meaningful. Have goals of increasing your energy, running a 5k, maintaining a healthy body fat percentage, getting rid of IBS/indigestion/anxiety/depression/acne, etc. ‘Skinny’ is no longer a goal. ‘Skinny’ means nothing.

Think positive. Changing your life by taking control of your health should be exciting and fun and wonderful. It’s not sacrifice; it’s awesome. That doesn’t mean it’s not going to be hard. Easy is laying on the couch with ice cream and facebook. But hard doesn’t have to mean bad. Each positive step in the right direction is a feather in your frickin’ happy cap. When you wake up without pain and exhaustion, when you run 3 miles without wanting to kill yourself, when you choose exercise over The Voice, you’ll realize hard can be very very good indeed.

Love Letter to my Body

Dear Body,

The time has come for you and us to stop fighting. I am done. If you think about all of the arguments we have had over the past few years, they just seem silly. And, I have to admit, it’s mostly my fault. I give you a hard time for the dumbest things and don’t give you enough credit for the amazing things that you do everyday! You take care of me even when I am sleeping. I am sorry, and I want to do better. The following comes from my heart…err your heart…whatever- I mean it though.

To my feet- you’re big, so what? You help me not to fall down more my giving me a sturdy base. Thanks, I’ll have my husband rub you more.

To my legs- I owe everything to you. You get me out of bed every morning. You support me on those long runs to help keep the rest of our body happy. You are my foundation. I will never again say our thighs are big or gross or wrinkly. I will not concern myself with the non-sense that is a ‘thigh-gap’. That’s just dumb. Thanks for being strong when I have been weak.

To my butt- thanks for being so good at dancing! Next wedding we go to, I promise to let you stay on the dance floor as long as you want to shake that money maker.

To my stomach- we have had a strained relationship for as long as I can remember. I ask too much of you. You were the perfect home to my 2 beautiful babies. You stretched just like you were designed to do, and I give you a hard time because you don’t look like you did in high school any more. If my husband got mad at me for that I would divorce him so I am sorry I talk to you like that. NO MORE. I love you and I will treat you better. I will also give you the best food I can- not to shrink and starve you- but to nourish you.

To my boobs- we had a really good run! I really just owe you round of applause. You were so good to me for so many years. In return, I promise to buy you big comfy bras and double it up for our workouts.

To my shoulder- you let me down last year, and I am still trying to work on forgiving you. All you had to do is stay in your home. Are you too good for your home?! Sorry, I digress. It’s almost been a full year since we got hurt, and we are not out of the woods yet. But, I promise to work as hard as I can to make you better.

To my brain- well aren’t you a tricky little friend… Not sure why you need to wake me up at 3am so that I can start contemplating my retirement or why I walk outside to get the mail and start to wonder about what I would do if someone just started shooting at me or if a squirrel jumped out of the tree onto my head, but I trust that there is a reason. I will work hard on bringing peace you in this new year. Even if it is for only 10 mins. a day, I will try to clear my thoughts and give you a break. Ohhmmmm…..

To my hair- you don’t have long. Come March, you are getting buzzed. It’s not you, it’s me. But, as you are growing back in, I’ll try not to judge you. I’ll remember that we did this for a good cause and I’ll try not to cry. Maybe this will be our chance to experiment and try something new together. You know, spice things up. Maybe there’s something cool that I’ve never even heard of….

So, thanks body. Let this be the year we fall in love just like old times.