Tag Archive: writing


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Brainy birds, floating free
Know what you must be
Go Away
Please don’t stay
Sing your song for me

***I wrote this after I saw the above art work by Kiersten Essenpreis. If you don’t know about her, now you know… She is incredibly talented and likely the most creative person I know in real life. Thanks for the inspiration. Check her out at http://www.youfail.com

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Rainy day

photo (12)Rainy day
Complainy day
Do nothing and piss it away
Kind of day

Still feeling sick
Need to get over it quick

For Sunday
My favorite day.

035 Yesterday my sister and I went on a farm tour. Tempel Farms Organics does it every year. The people responsible for farming the land, take everyone on a FREE 2-hour tour of the land. They explain what they do, how they do it, and why they do it the way that they do. They are an organic farm, and spend a lot of time and energy growing things the ‘right’ way.

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Anyway, my sister invited me to do it with her: “you can take pictures and then blog about it.” I was all in. We even joked about what we would wear “casual, organic, chic” and Brooke laughed about how I should capture her “sun-kissed cheeks” on camera. Big nerds, I know.

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I knew I was going to enjoy it. What I did not expect was the lingering joy that this relatively simple tour has provided. I am still trying to get a handle on exactly why I feel this way. Maybe it is because I was outside, in nature, getting exercise (I could spend every minute of the summer outside and never get sick of it). Maybe it was because what they were saying about the food was reinforcing everything I have been saying about food lately. Maybe it was because I could feel their passion for what they do when they were talking. Or, maybe it was because I was out taking pictures and planning what I was going to write about. It was almost like I was a ‘real’ writer who was out on assignment.

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All day today, I have thinking about this experience and how much more enjoyable and healthy and productive it was than drinking too much, or laying around watching TV, or ___________(insert your unhealthy time waster here). It was like those 2 hours gave me a snap shot of the kind of life I wanted to live. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to quit my day job and start farming. I cannot imagine the physical demands of that job. These people work so hard, all day, every day.

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But, it was a good reminder of staying focused on what I want from my life, and how I want to spend my days. If we don’t stay conscious of what we are doing with our seconds, they disappear. We can’t get time back. I need to keep reminding myself of this fact. Not in a threatening kind of way like ‘enjoy every second or else…’, but in a way that keeps me on track. I am starting to figure out what I want for the first time in my life and it is TOO EASY to get side-tracked.

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Have you thought about this? What do you want? Have you figured it out yet? I find it fascinating when I meet someone who is so certain of the path that they are on and everything in their life moves them in the right direction. I am very far from that, but I take pride in the fact that I am getting closer. I don’t have all the answers and I don’t think you need to, but I think it is important ask yourself these questions, to live in wonder, to commit to learning, to seek peace and fulfillment, to ask yourself what you truly want from this one life. The soul searching continues…

(Here are some more pictures of their beautiful farm on a beautiful summer day)

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So, yeah, I’m writing a book….

#Holyhell#mothercrapanxiety#panicattack#shitdamnchrist#whatthewhat
#helpmebabyjesus#sweatypalmspoundingheart#cockballs
#thereisnoturningbacknow#sweetmothermarycometome
#whyohwhycan’tihaveanormalbrain#doesanyoneknowapublisher
#ithinkithrewupalittle#ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I’m writing a book!

100This is my 100th blog post since starting Candys brain blog last year. (Bells…Whistles….Yahoos) I can’t believe it but 100 times now I have shared what is floating around my noggin. Thank you for reading. Thank you for your kind words. Thanks for sharing my posts. Thanks thanks thanks!

When I realized that my next post was going to be the big 1-0-0 I started to stress a little. I had no idea what I should write about. I guess it doesn’t really need to be meaningful or profound (Why start now?! Ba da bum). Still, I felt extra pressure to reflect on what I am doing and why I am doing it.

In the beginning, the reason I called this ‘candys brain blog’ was because I wanted to write about all of the things in my brain. Against the advice of every book, blog, article, and expert, etc. I did not want to specialize. I didn’t want to pick one topic. For example, I didn’t want to just write about being a mom. There is so much more to me than that. I love writing about food, but I also like books, and personal growth, and life lessons, and being funny, and a bit of a feminist, and…. You get the point.

But, what IS the point? Why do I do this? It is time consuming, no one pays me, I am already very busy. What is in it for me?

Well, it turns out this is my ‘zone’. When I am writing these little posts, time disappears. Life disappears.

Kids: “Look mommy, I’m playing with matches!”

Me while writing: “That’s nice sweetie…”

It is how I relax.

But that is obviously only half of it because- why would I share it with all of you then? If it is just for me, why do I care if you’re reading it? If I really sit and think about it, it is because I am happy and I want all of you to be happy too! Really, I am happy and I want to share those happy thoughts, ideas, recipes, laughs, advice, rants, etc. with you in hopes that you will feel some of it as well. I desperately want to make you laugh, and help you find health, and teach you something new, and to motivate you to make a change, and show you that you’re not alone!

I hope I have written something over the past year that has made you think, “at least someone else is as crazy/clueless/opinionated/whatever as I am”.

I hope I have written something over the past year that has made you laugh on a day that you didn’t feel like laughing.

I hope that I have written something over the past year that has changed the way you feel about yourself.

I hope that I have written something over the past year that makes you realize that you are not the only one who is apparently ‘weird shaped’ or ‘bi-polar’ or ‘feels bad about their boobs’ or ‘needs help deciding what to feed their family’.

Not sure what the next step of this journey is. Maybe I’ll find a way to do this as ‘my job’, or maybe nothing will change. Either way, I am going to keep writing and I certainly hope that you keep reading. XOXO

Very Likely Bad Haikus

A haiku for you

You don’t even have to share!

What did you get me?

 

Music of our times

What a bunch of crap burgers!

I sound like my dad

 

Wind whispers to me

The secrets of her lost youth

I feel her pain

 

Haikus are the best

’cause they don’t have to make sense

Perpendicular

Lazy Hazy Dazey Sunday

Snuggled up with my boos, two

Work and nonsense surrounds us ignored

 

Slowing down time with my mind

Soaking up the now-ness of well….now

 

Grinch by the tree,

the Elf’s on the shelf

And the man I love’s in my heart

Saturday Love

Oh, sweet Saturday nap

You delicious N-A-P

Solitary time

Special just for me

 

Got my comfy clothes on

(Bra thrown on the floor)

Fan to block the noise

Quick-quiet close the door

 

Mask covering my face

Blankets to my chin

One hour with my kids asleep

I win! I win! I win!

 

Got a red hot date tonight

With my husband: handsome, tall

Will I miss my kids? You say-

Oh, Ha! Not at all

 

Of all the days per week

My favorite is Saturday

Sure- there’s some work to do

But, it’s mostly filled with alcohol play!

Ode to Starbucks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cappuccino, Frappuccino

Mochas and Chai Tea

All the glorious choices

Made special just for me.

 

Pumpkin spice latte

You’re autumn in a cup

White chocolate mocha

You always fill me up.

 

Only 500 calories

For sure ruined my diet

Oooh, new salted caramel

I just HAVE to try it.

 

When the people line up and I should leave

I always come back for more

Why can’t I quit you?

Starbucks, you’re such a whore!

 

5 dollars a pop

Makes me want to cry

Without this small addiction

Think of what I could buy.

 

Too many to choose from

Venti, Grande, Tall

Only one complaint-

Why can’t I just say ‘small’?

When I was little I think I knew I wanted to be a writer. I LOVED to read. I would disappear from the house, go down to the creek, climb a tree, and read until I heard my dad’s whistle. I had a pretty ridiculous imagination (still do) and I could just be in my own head for a long time. I also LOVED to write. When I got a new notebook I would open it up, smell the pages, and stare at the lines on the page. There was something so exciting about the potential of that blankness waiting to be filled. I would write (bad) poetry, short stories, and pretend to interview people for a ‘newspaper article’ I was writing.

 And then I lost my way. At some point I realized that writing wasn’t just about creativity but you actually had to know your stuff (gramar, sentence structure). I still don’t know what a dangling participle is! Writing is hard work and most people don’t make a living at it. That was just a little too real for me. It took the fun out of writing.

In college I started as an English major and was doing well. But I could never answer the question, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Being a ‘writer’ no longer seemed realistic to me (you know, because of all the hard work) and the other jobs that could come from an English degree didn’t excite me. I didn’t want to teach, or edit, and I didn’t want to starve. My writing career was over before it started. Blogs didn’t exist back then (back off, I’m only 30) so that media never occured to me.

So why is it that now, at this point in my life, I have returned to writing and am enjoying it so much. It’s pretty much all I think about. There is no greater thrill than when I see how many people have read what I wrote and shared it with their friends. There is no better compliment someone can give me right now than to tell me they like my blog (other than telling me I look skinny). I pretty much think about writing/blogging every minute. My husband is probably so sick of hearing  me say, “oh, I should blog about that.” It’s consuming me.

The problem is that I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great job that I really enjoy, working for a company I am proud to be a part of. I am referring to what I want to do about this damn writing bug I have. I still don’t know if it is realistic to do it for a living. Everytime I read anything by authors they say how much work it is, how hard it is to make money, how it’s impossible to make money blogging unless you do it full time, etc etc. So, am I supposed to just let the joy of writing this free blog be enough? Am I supposed to pursue this further? I am not necessarily afraid of the failure. I am afraid of committing months/years to a project that brings me nothing in return (except for the joy of writing). Apparently a lot of authors work somewhere in the ‘biz’ like in publishing, or they edit a paper. I don’t. I would literally google, “how to publish a book”.

Well for right now, I am going to continue reading as much as I can, writing this blog (hoping people read it), and maybe work on my many book ideas on the side. We’ll see where it goes. Thanks for listening.